Thursday, February 5, 2015

Why do we fall in love?

Most of you know I write romance novels about two people falling in love.
Boy meets girl,
Boy kisses girl,
Boy gets girl.

The End......

Not even close. Forget about the many lovely faces boy had to research- sowing wild oats, they call it- before his eyes meet the perfect one and the sparks fly. An attraction so fierce he can't even close his eyes without picturing her in his head. Remembering every word of conversation they shared, her laughter, her smell, the way she walks... Geesh, talk about love....

What I want to know is why?   What is it that makes us fall in love with one person rather than the other? And how do we choose who to fall in love with?

I have some ideas and I'm hoping maybe you'll help me out by adding more.

What I've discovered is this:

 1.  You are ready to fall it love.  Johnny Lee's song "Looking for Love" sums it up nicely. We are designed to have a partner and therefor set ourselves up with an expectation that someday we'll find the one who makes us happy. We feel good when we're together. The main reason behind going out on the weekends when we're young is the hope of finding that special someone we're attracted to or destined even to spend our lives with.

2.   Let's get physical.  Yeah,,,and then there's that. The physical attraction that has us sweating, blushing and heart pounding sensations just being close to that person. Feels so right...for real. Powerful brain circuits are triggered, like the chemical dopamine, which produces a feeling of euphoria, energy and even sleeplessness. We go out of our way to make it so by using makeup, clothes, even fancy cars to get noticed and hopefully- get lucky.

3 .  There is a desire to be needed or helpful.  I smile when dear hubby claims he'd never find another like me. Whether its true of not, it's a sweet sentiment. Who doesn't want to be needed? A big part of love is being there for each other. The feeling of security you get from a long term partner can certainly evolve into a deep emotional commitment, and help couples stay together to see their families raised

4. Little things mean a lot.  I love it when hubby washes my car and fills it with gas. Or the way his face lights up when he comes home tired from work to find I've made his favorite dish. And later, promise to massage his sore muscles with a five minute rub-down.

Actions speak louder than words. What kind of gestures make you fall in love? Or at least get your attention?



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Thanks for taking the time to share your thoughts. You're awesome!